Dios, Patria, Libertad.

These past couple days I've been 100% Dominicana. I don't know why, I've just been so proud of where I come from these days.
I just want everything to be about Dominican Republic. It feels strange, cos it feels like i'm not really worrying about anything anymore, I just want to think about DR.
Maybe it's because my Papa (Grandfather) has been really ill recently, that's probably the only thing i've been worrying about lately. BUT he's recovering fast, and is feeling much better already, which I am so greatful for. But this happening has caused all the family to be in contact much more than before, we've all been calling back home, and America, to talk to the family, everyday. And it's a relief for all of us that he's getting better. He's been in all our prayers. But hopefully we will stay in close contact after he has fully recovered.
I think it may also be because I've started to plan my Quinceanera. No, wait that's wrong, I haven't just started, I've been planning since the beginning of 2011, but recently I've been putting alot of thought into it. I know it's in two and a bit years, but if you were brought up how I was brought up, then you would know how much it means to us, and how important it is. And plus there is ALOT to plan. - Themes, theme colours, dress designs, decorations, venue, transport, Damas (who I will choose), Damas' dresses and shoes (colour themes and style), Caballeros (who I will choose), Caballeros' suits. AHHH It's all too much already, but it's all can ever think about. I have recently decided that I will have it the summer of 2013, instead of March, when my birthay is, because of time issues. And I've taken a big decision to fly back home, and have it there. I weighed out both options, to have it there or here. But having back in the DR is definately the better choice, because 99% of my family already live there, so it will be easier for them, and I want all the family to be there even if I can't have my friends. And for the family that live in America, it will be easier and much for them to go over. So i'm definately keeping to my word with that. And the weather will be amazing, and not RAINING or COLD like here (Y)
Ahh so yer, looking forward to that.

Oh yeshh ;3

Silence.

Um yeah I pulled this from my other blog.
For those of you who know me, then you know me as a very cheerful, loud, or you could say 'flamboyant' girl, but there is much more than that behind the smile.
As many of you may know, you sometimes do have to lie about your feelings to get by, and yes, I know i'm only 13, but as far as emotions go, I have experianced alot. Okay here goes.

Sometimes you feel as if your mind is drifting away you drift into a sea of serenity and peace, where you forget all the troubles of the world, where there is no hard decisions to make and no tears to hold back! You are in the most peaceful place on earth, you can be yourself and no one will judge or discriminate you.
But all that can change in the blink of an eye. And it is that blink itself that changes everything, from that sea of serenity you have been 'chillin' in ( :D ) comes a storm of emotion, your heart pulls you back to chaotic reality, but reality is too much, you feel all the problems and worries flood your mind, and like a drop of rain, a tear trickles down your face...........The storm has begun.

Yeah, i know its a load of metaphoric crap, and i know im only 13, and i shouldnt be stressing but... OH WELL! This blog is for those who feel the same way and if you think im just stupid teen, then you are welcome to leave ... Gracias

Your Bruise Was Understated

Why do we hide what we are feeling. Why do we hide the pain and tears behind a smile. Although we do know the pain wont last forever, but just as long as it's here, it hurts like fuck. So you try and distract yourself, but you always coming back to the same conclusion.

I recently had an argument with a friend of mine. And it killed me because I never wanted things to get that far. And things were said that didn't need to be said, especially from my part. When it happened all I could do was cry, and cry. I actually hated myself, I felt like such a bitch. I just wanted to die. I tried convincing myself that it would all blow over within a week or two. But it didn't work, the guilt was killing me. I hated myself so much. But i'd never tell people how frustrated, angry, and sad I was, I would just put on a smile and act like everything was okay. When really inside I was dying.

It's pretty much forgotten about now, and I gather she's over it, but it's still there for me. 

Things are never going to go back to how they were.

Sometimes it's just better when you keep your mouth shut.

Ergh. I suck...