Wed, 29 May 19:41

Today I shouted at my mum. I screamed at her over the phone. She was still at work, but she took my call nevertheless. And she listened to me shout. I called her because I was late, and I didn't know where she put a garment of mine. I searched for a long time and started to get frustrated. My calls weren't going through. I used my dad's phone to call her work, and find out where the shirt was. I called and shouted at her straight away. Through all my anger and frustration towards her, she still kept her warm loving tone with me. She told me where it was & I found it, she wished me good luck for the competition and I put the phone down on her. 
Who am I?
Who said she deserved that? 
Why did I think I had the right? 
Am I spoilt? 
Some daughter I am. Great fucking daughter. After everything. I still give her this. Stupid fucking argh. Nicole.
This morning I was told I got into CAT, of which I audition for a while back. I told my mum, she said she was extremely proud of me. She said I knew I could do it, that I deserved it. 
I just got home, I thought about my mum, I texted her that I was sorry for shouting and that I didn't mean to overreact. This is what she said:
"Don't feel bad about it! You apologised and move on my baby! Just try not to overreact next time. We're both going through a lot, but I always try as much as I can to be a good mum, the same way you're trying to be the best dancer ever! Xx I love you x"

'We're both going through a lot"

'try as much as I can to be a good mum'

'a good mum'

'try not to overreact'

'I love you'

'best dancer ever'

'I'm so proud of you'

'You deserve it'

'a good mum' 

' I try'

Nicole you're a monster. You disgust me. Truly.
Bask in your guilt. Dirty creature.