Even I get bad thoughts sometimes.
They flood my head and spill out through my eyes to soak my pillow for hours on end. Catching colds sleeping on wet pillows drenched in sorrow. Some days I  stumble out of bed and fall to my knees, mumble prayers of protection to those who have provided me with so much, afraid that one day he'll take them away from me. All the while holding in my sobs, afraid they'll wake her through the phone. Once she was there, I got up and left her sleeping like the angel she is. Locked myself in the dark bathroom until the tears almost suffocated me, wiped my eyes and returned to her. Sat on the side of the bed and started weeping again, she rolled over and held me and fell asleep with my head on her chest. The thoughts left me with sore eyes and dry lips.
But they come back now and then returning like an old companion; a dog never forgets its owner.