And it's happiness we yearn

It's freedom we seek

I am the product of unproductivity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8inJtTG_DuU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Vous n'avez pas besoin d'être sophistiquée et riche d'acquérir le respect, la beauté et le bonheur.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfKBkQ4ID04&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Nos sunt infinitae.

Sometimes I live a world silent
Just the sound of my breath, solitary
My face, dead, and body, still
Lack of meaning and purpose
For a second I become inanimate, still, lost.
With a billion I am surrounded, but with nothing, am I filled.

The silent world, it's difficult to understand when you're blinded by bodies,
But when those bodies blend into one, is when one shall realise the true destiny of our souls.
Bound by silence, bound by solitude, bound by brightness.
The lone soul has it's own agenda, one that doesn't concern others, but instead basks in it's own learning and knowledge.
Something that allows us to put ourselves into the places of others, to mimick; but never actually become. Never replace, for that a fatal mistake, we are once always indebted to make.
But once learnt is a journey been and gone, for some.
It's something we must learn to take on, and something we must learn from.
To atleast prepare ourselves, for the bigger journey to come.

"You're such strange teenager, I don't understand you"
Thanks very fucking much

And there you go, it's been done

I've lost the will to allow myself happiness anymore.

I don't deserve that, I mean that's why the waves of doubt have returned?

To torture me? Is that it?

It's getting too much for me, and it's the frustration that guides it.

I don't know what to do anymore, I can't force it down any longer.

I can't pretend to be blissfully content. I just can't. 

I need to know why the tables have flipped. Why? What have I done? 

What can I do to solve it? 

I've got to know! 

Please. 

Stupid Nicole.
Hate how she decided to cut her hair.
Hate where she lives.
Hate how she walks.
Hate how she looks in her uniform.
Hate how she brings herself across.
Hate the way she speaks.
Hate how she dances.
Hate her braces.
Hate how attached she gets to everyone.
Hate how she cries all the fucking time for no apparent reason.
Hate her damn eczema and skin.
Hate her body.
Hate her face.
Hate her voice.
Hate the way she takes pictures.
Hate her bruises.
Hate her knees.
Hate how she is when she's with her friends. 
Hate how paranoid she is about everything.
Hate how many times she said sorry.
Hate what she's becoming.
Hate how she is in school. 
Hate everything about her.

Stupid cunt. Nicole.

I have nothing to say really. I guess it's back. And I fucking hate it.